Invisible

Today I told someone hello.
They didn’t say it back.
Today I smiled at someone in the hall. They didn’t smile back.
Today I looked in the mirror to see if I was invisible.
Turns out I’m not invisible — then why can’t anyone see me?
Today I made a fake Instagram account under a trendy name from the 1960s to see whether I knew any people who had real Instagram accounts.
All of the accounts were private save for one.
Today I forced myself to be happy for a particular past crush who posted lots of pictures on Instagram with his new girlfriend. Hurrah.
Today I looked at everyone’s smiling faces and wondered why I wasn’t smiling with them.
Today I wondered why some people are complete idiots.
Today I told someone hello.
They didn’t say it back.
Today I comforted someone who said she had no love life.
I didn’t have the courage to tell her that I’ve never had a love life
Today I told someone I write poetry and they laughed at me.
Today I cried in front of a mirror while singing a made-up song that wasn’t even sad.
Today I told people I was fine when I really was not.
Today I looked in the mirror to see if I was invisible.
I wish I was invisible.
If I were invisible maybe it wouldn’t hurt so much ’cause I know I’m here but people refuse to see it.
Can I please just be invisible?
1. Today I told someone hello.
2. They didn’t say it back.

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©Amankumar 2018

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